Thursday, February 10, 2011

Wanna Share a Pepsi?

Valentines Day is for lovers, right? Having been single for the past 20 years, (it's hard to believe it has been 20 years), I tend to ignore all of the Valentine hype. Yes, I have been "alone" for that long and as odd as some people find that to be, I am very happy!
There is a difference between being "alone" and being "lonely". I have rarely felt lonely. You see, when you finally make a decision to leave an unhealthy relationship, it is PEACE that you are looking for, not companionship.........but there are moments.....

A few years ago there was a large group of us going to Vegas for a few days. My best friend Deb is a travel agent and is good at getting these groups together. Being from a small town, we usually all know one another.
On this particular trip, Deb had a bus to take us all on the 80 mile drive to the Dallas airport. There was a couple on the trip that has been married for 30+ years. To watch them interact, you would've thought they were newlyweds.
We were settling down in the airport waiting to board the plane when I took a seat behind this couple. She had recently undergone a hysterectomy and had gotten the Dr's permission travel. As I sat there, I could hear her husband talking so concerning to her. "Are you feeling ok?" "Did you take your Tylenol?" "Anything hurt?" and the last question, "Do you want to share a Pepsi"?
That last  question brought tears to me eyes. It really made me start thinking how wonderful it would be to have a relationship like that. To have someone to really care about me and my well being. To share the excitement of going on a trip and all of the experiences of being there. It also made me wonder if she really knew how lucky she was to have a husband that truly cared about her.

So it is that type of relationship that I want and I'm not settling for anything less. That probably explains the last 20 years of being single. Those type of men are either taken or don't exist.....but I haven't given up hope....I'm pretty sure I'll recognize him if I meet him.......... and when I do I'll just ask,

                         "Wanna share a Pepsi?"


  1. Since you were in an unhealthy and/or abusive relationship I can see why you would be happy and peaceful being single. I admire you so much because it is very difficult to get out of an abusive relationship and so many women just stay in one because it is easier or they are too afraid to leave. When these women finally do leave they just jump into another horrible relationship similiar to the past one. They didn't learn anything from the past experience. You're intelligent. Keep your eyes open because your Prince Charming might just be around the corner.

  2. Thank you Kathy. I don't talk about it much mainly because of the #1 question people ask....why did you stay in it as long as you did? It's hard to explain unless you have been there.And you are correct about most women jumping right back into similar situations. Your self esteem and self worth is down to nothing which makes it easier to fall back into the same situation. My love for my three daughters and not wanting them to think this is how relationships should be is what kept me going.
    Thanks for the kind words!